MaiHime Hearts and Roads
by E.M.PRAETORIAN
Summary: After the Carnival...new feelings, new roads and living with the truth...good and bad. My take on life after the dust settled...AU because I'm leading the flow OoC because people DO grow and CHANGE
1. New Roads

**A/N: Just recently found this old piece on my removable drive…I hadn't toyed with the idea in so long I had forgotten it until recent download of my chapters to the drive…maybe I'll take it for a test drive…**

**This is Sunrise's sandbox and one of their better anime…I'm playing here, care to join me?**

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If there was a day to sit and enjoy life today sure was the one. The sky was beautifully clear with fluffy white clouds and a soft breeze that carried the scents from the Headmistress' garden across the school grounds. In the evening, just after classes, people were stretching out blankets and enjoying an outdoor picnic. Most of the faces were happy considering the tumultuous events that had recently passed.

There was no sign of hard feelings or regret for any of the trespasses that had been committed whether in good faith or ill will. Natsuki was suited up and sitting astride her new motorcycle as though in wait of someone. All of the Hime were buzzing about how they all felt relieved that the star was gone and the Carnival. Although each of them regained the people they most cherished, the scars of battle amongst themselves wore heavily upon them.

"Are you just going to sit here watching life pass you by with all that we have just gone through?" Shizuru asked from behind Natsuki.

"Actually I was waiting for my date…"Natsuki said looking back over her shoulder.

"Well then I will wait here with you so I can meet this person," Shizuru said trying not to sound sarcastic.

"She might get jealous if she sees you standing here with me acting so nonchalantly," Natsuki said trying to gauge Shizuru's mood.

"Let's hope not. I recall a certain someone laying waste to everything in her path the last time," Shizuru answered with a wink.

"No more star…no more powers. I don't think we'll have to worry about that happening again," Natsuki replied as she held up a riding suit.

"I can still use a naginata pretty deftly even without powers you know," Shizuru said as she stripped to put on the suit.

"I'll have to check on that one. Hurry up with that suit I don't want to hit traffic," Natsuki replied watching Shizuru through her mirror.

Thankfully, there was no traffic on the drive to the hot springs. The former Hime had agreed to spend this vacation in relaxing surroundings. Natsuki was glad to have some alone time with Shizuru before the others arrived so they could speak about what happened between them. Shizuru spent the entire ride so close to Natsuki that even now she could still feel Shizuru's arms around her waist. They were roomed across from the main spring and had a beautiful view of the mountainside.

Shizuru peeled herself out of her suit and dressed in a kimono that she packed. Natsuki had to admit that if anything, Shizuru definitely looked good in traditional clothing. The kimono she had packed for Natsuki was brand new and Natsuki thought of asking Shizuru when she had it made. Shizuru stretched out on the futon to take a quick respite.

"Are you going to lie down after all that driving, Na-tsu-ki?" Shizuru asked before she lay down herself.

"I think I'll sit here the view is really breathtaking," Natsuki said looking at Shizuru's long and slender frame.

"Ara…Natsuki, I do believe the mountain is on the other side of the window," Shizuru replied with an innocent tone.

"That wasn't the view I meant and you know it. I want to talk about what you did," Natsuki said with a stern but light voice.

"What part of that are you asking about?" Shizuru asked now looking at the floor. The tears would fall whenever Natsuki would try to discuss any of this with her.

"How you touched me without my consent? I don't want you to cry again, Shizuru, but I need to know since you felt you couldn't ask me," Natsuki said trying to avoid the tears.

"I touched and kissed you but I couldn't control myself after that. I swear to you, Natsuki, that I couldn't control what I felt once I let you know I was a Hime. I may have been kidding and flirting with you all the time before but having you alone …," Shizuru looked at Natsuki through her peripheral vision to gauge her reaction.

"I was partially responsible for those feelings. I allowed you to play cat and mouse with me. You were the one I always went to for one thing or another," Natsuki stood up and turned to the window, "I went to the one place I could find peace whenever I felt everything closing in."

"I told you we were friends long ago and that is just a part of what friendship represents," Shizuru replied admiring Natsuki's form.

"I should have taken it for what it was Shizuru, I came to you for comfort, when I needed the computer or just wanted to talk. I did realize that I loved you in return but I could not understand how you could feel so deeply for me?" Natsuki turned from the window looking for her answer.

"You were always so lonely and sometimes so angry. All I ever wanted to do was make you smile and let you know that you didn't have to be alone. I always thought you were beautiful, Natsuki, so I just had to make that attempt to get to know you better," Shizuru said looking directly into Natsuki's eyes even from the floor.

Natsuki walked across to Shizuru's side and kneeled next to her, "My mother was my whole world. My father was never such a big part of my life except maybe with his money. When I finally came back to school, I was not ready to share myself with anyone. You were so persistent that you slipped in without me even realizing it."

Shizuru reached up and caressed her cheek making Natsuki feel warm and… yes… comforted. Natsuki leaned into that touch and then leaned in for a kiss. Once again, caught off guard Shizuru recovered much easier then last time. Natsuki pushed Shizuru back on to the futon and lay on her feeling the closeness of their bodies as her head started to swim. Natsuki did not want to stop but Shizuru made her back away citing that she would not be able to control herself if they continued.

"I love you, Natsuki, but right now we are supposed to be clearing our issues," Shizuru said as she balled her fists.

"I'm sorry but I just couldn't help myself," Natsuki said as she sat next to Shizuru on the futon.

"Ask your next question before I loose my nerve to be able to answer you." Shizuru replied as she reached for Natsuki's zipper.

Natsuki did not resist or speak as Shizuru opened her suit and dropped it off her shoulders. Both girls took sharp breaths as the emotion rolled across their nerves. Shizuru couldn't believe just how unbelievable this scenario was only a few short months ago. Natsuki felt completely overwhelmed as Shizuru traced the shape of her breasts. As Natsuki's nipples reacted to Shizuru's touch, Shizuru stopped and withdrew from Natsuki.

"We need to leave this room. I am sorry, but in good faith, I cannot go any further until we finish talking. I will wait for you outside while you change," Shizuru stiffened up as she walked out of the room leaving Natsuki wanting.

Outside Shizuru sat waiting with her head in her hands trying to catch her breath. Natsuki was so willing to be pleased that Shizuru felt guilty all over again. This girl was her best friend and soon become more. The thought of the battles brought chills to Shizuru as she remembered what she had done in the name of love. It was a heavy burden that she would willingly bear for Natsuki's love.

Kiyohime lived up to her name when she had trapped Natsuki under the church bell… an upper hand Shizuru had thought at the time. When Natsuki kissed her and professed her love, Shizuru had no clue what would come next until she and Natsuki faded into nothingness in one another's arms. To find out in the death that Natsuki loved her made the end seem befitting. Yukino had no clue how hard Shizuru had fought her emotions up until she rescued Natsuki from Nao's revenge.

Ah yes…Yukino Kikukawa…her most important person has always strived to be my rival and yet…Yukino was the Hime…the protector. I hope this works for the others coming here as well.

Natsuki stood just inside the doorway watching Shizuru compose herself realizing that Shizuru was right. In a few short months, Shizuru would be going to university to start her further education. Natsuki just wanted to be alone to explore the feelings she was now allowing herself to give reign. Shizuru had no problem either way Natsuki wanted it to go. Natsuki slowly edged out of the door and sat next to Shizuru.

"Well it is about time you decided to stop standing there staring at me," Shizuru said admiring Natsuki in the new kimono.

"This is still way too new for me Shizuru and you are more prepared to handle emotions than I am," Natsuki replied causing Shizuru to laugh.

"District 1 might disagree with you as would Haruka. I am barely one year older than you," Shizuru stood and offered her hand to Natsuki.

"Why didn't you come forward to me once Nagi pit all of us against each other?" Natsuki asked.

"I never wanted to have to fight against you. To fight for someone you love is much better," Shizuru said as she and Natsuki headed up the long path into the mountain.

"Once I realized the truth I knew what it was everyone else had been feeling. I am sorry if I took you off guard, but you, you…Shizuru…you were the first person to embrace me. It was the only way I could think of to finish off the insanity," Natsuki said as she took Shizuru's hand.

"Ah...such a befitting ends ne? I never allowed myself to believe that you would ever return my feelings in any way. Dreams can be nice but that is all they are…dreams," Shizuru replied thinking of Natsuki's new approach to life.

"With my previous attitude, your feelings were something I couldn't return. I cannot say the same holds true even though I may not show the same outward connection you do," Natsuki answered as she moved from Shizuru's hand to wrapping their arms.

"We are not those girls anymore…no more hiding, no more fear," Shizuru replied as she leaned closer and lay her head to Natsuki's. A sudden chill ran through both girls as they stay this way heading up the mountain path. There was still time before the others arrived and this was how Natsuki wanted to spend her time…getting to know her most important person, learning to live and love anew**_._**


	2. Time to Grow

Disclaimer: Not a single character belongs to me; I'm just playing in the sandbox with them.

_**A/N:**__ My deepest gratitude goes to my koi, thank you for all that you've done, including playing my beta._

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As the sun rose over Fuuka, Yukino absent-mindedly stroked Haruka's hair. With no scheduled classes today and the dorm devoid of the usual hustle and bustle of students, she was happy to be able to share this unguarded moment with her most important person. _"Well at least she seems peaceful,"_ Yukino thought, _"though I'm not sure she would care, even if the students were roaming about."_

Haruka's long blonde locks still bore the smell of the shampoo she had used last night_. "I much rather prefer this scent over the lingering scent of alcohol radiating from Haruka,"_ Yukino mused to herself, _"I must remember to thank Miss Sugiura for getting Haruka drunk."_ Haruka wasn't listening, so Midori slowly subdued her with sweet cloying drinks, mostly soda with a shot of some alcohol in it. Thanks to Haruka's tenacity and that of Miss Sugiura, the alcohol eventually became a bottle of sake.

"_Hopefully, Haruka wakes in a good mood, because I'm already nervous enough about this," _Yukino thought as she slowly got up, placed Haruka's head on a couch cushion, and went to the window. The thought of Haruka and Shizuru Fujino in the same room, posed some trepidation. Not one single former Hime was sure how she would handle returning to school and her normal life. In addition, never mind trying to handle matters such as the ones before them now. Even though they were all just pawns for the Obsidian Lord, many hurtful things were done in the name of love, duty, and loyalty.

"_Explaining all of this to Haruka is going to take more courage than I am sure I have," _Yukino thought as she sighed, "C_an we truthfully expect atonement?"_

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The decision to discuss the Carnival away from Fuuka was actually Mikoto's idea. There were too many painful memories needing resolution, so all agreed a neutral atmosphere would be best. Fumi Himeno provided them with the perfect place when she suggested they visit a hot spring. This was due in part to the atonement Fumi sought for her actions during the Carnival. As Mashiro's maid and confidant, Fumi had followed every order, no matter the consequences.

The defeat of the Obsidian Lord and the subsequent destruction of the Hime star, temporarily shelved all the plans of the First District and the Searrs Corporation. Upon righting the damage caused by the star and the Hime, Mashiro Kazahana used the last of her power as the Crystal Hime. This ultimate reset returned everyone affected by the Carnival.

The First District agreed to watch over the now former Hime as _unofficial_ guardians, because those girls would still need help, so they could successfully return to and lead ordinary lives again. Mashiro and Nagi reminded the leaders of the sacrifices made and the looming threat of the Searrs Corporation retaliating, now that the star and all of its powers had dissipated. Without their powers, each former Hime was now a defenseless target for such a secretive organization.

Aware of the dangers of returning to their homes owned by the Searrs Corporation, young Alyssa Searrs and her companion, Miyu Greer, asked to remain at Fuuka as wards. Searrs made their objectives for the Hime quite clear. Alyssa agreed with Mashiro, when she stated that even without powers, the Searrs Corporation would still want the former Hime as test subjects. It was Alyssa's request that confirmed Mashiro's argument to the First District.

Would the former Hime ever return to normalcy? This was a question that only time would answer.

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The sound of the car horn earlier barely budged Midori. The redhead simply rolled over and placed her pillow over her head, dinning out the noise. Last night's over indulgence left Midori with one viscous headache and a refusal to move more than rolling over in bed. The recent discussions had been fruitless and more or less pointless, since the former Hime had many pent up regrets. Midori knew they all felt some shame for their actions and hoped she too could see her way through the few she held.

Just as Midori drifted into a sound sleep, her body was jolted from its slumber by cold water. Midori let out a high-pitched scream as her body hit the floor; every nerve in her now wet body very alive. She landed directly at Youko's feet, "Geez Youko, there ARE better ways of waking people."

"Twenty minutes ago I would have agreed with you. Right now…Midori…_I could care less. _Get up and get dressed. It's time to go," Youko reprimanded Midori and threw a towel at her.

"Where are we going?" Midori asked as her brain tried to register something more than just shocking cold.

"You aren't that drunk Midori. Get dressed and meet me in the car. If you aren't outside in ten minutes, I'm leaving without you," Youko said firmly as she walked out of Midori's apartment.

Once Midori's professor had returned to his University home, Midori faced the truth of her feelings and actions. Youko also had many things she felt upon hearing the professor's departing words to Midori. _"I admire your youthful exuberance, but you are nothing more than a student to me."_ Contrary to what others thought, Midori was not shattered by this like some love struck girl. Instead, she became aware that her feelings were more inclined in other areas.

Yes, Midori wanted him to be proud of her, but she understood it was as her mentor, not a prospective love interest. Midori shook these thoughts away as she stumbled through her apartment getting dressed. With barely seconds to spare, Midori smoothly slid into the car's passenger seat beside Youko, quickly donning sunglasses against the glaring sun.

"Here, take these and keep your mouth shut," Youko said firmly, handing Midori some aspirin and vitamins. The small car took off at its usual speed, once again reminding Midori just how irritated Youko was with her. Midori fought the nausea coursing through her and hoped the pills would stay down.

When Midori started to drift off to sleep, Youko turned on the radio and cranked up the volume. Midori wished the pills acted quicker, because the sound not only vibrated through the car, but also through every bone in her body. Youko noticed Midori shifting uneasily in the passenger seat.

"_Time to grow up, Midori," _Youko thought as a perverse grin adorned her face.


	3. No More No Less

**DISCLAIMER: **Mai HiME belongs to Sunrise.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Hopefully the wall will come down soon. Writer's block sucks…

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**Mai HiME: Hearts and Roads**

**No More, No Less**

Shizuru Fujino thought she had made her point clear to Natsuki during their walk along the mountain path. Yes, Natsuki Kuga had listened, but no she did not take the words in completely. There were so many signs of the 'Fuka Gakuen Ice Princess' during their walk and conversation but before her now was not the same person.

"Shizuru, please, just sit and relax," Natsuki said in an even but gentle tone.

"For just a moment," Shizuru replied as she sat uncomfortably next to Natsuki.

Along the path they came upon a small shrine and a bench, Natsuki figured this would be the best place to rest before returning to the spa. A part of Natsuki had become open and willing to build further upon her strong bond of friendship with Shizuru, but her emotional immaturity left her at a loss on how to properly proceed.

Shizuru closed her eyes for a moment and then let out a surprised gasp as she felt Natsuki take her hand. There was a slight shiver and an uncontrollable urge to get up and run away. Part of her wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to scream 'No you can't love me'. Natsuki felt the shiver and held Shizuru's hand anyway.

Natsuki knew that in order to understand their feelings, both girls needed to clear the air between them and start anew. To make a new start both had to leave behind the stunted manner with which they had previously dealt with one another.

"Listen, Shizuru, we can keep pretending until the tears flow again," Natsuki said inhaling deeply before exhaling to finish, "Or we can take this time to say it honestly one last time and move on. So shall we?"

"Natsuki to be completely honest is a very difficult thing to do. Are you so willing to be completely trusting and truthful? No secrets, no lies, just the two of us and no doors, walls, or cages, in or behind which to hide the ugliness we have manifested," Shizuru replied nervously as Natsuki nodded her head in agreement.

"I never wanted you to become some monstrous killing machine, not for me, not ever. The Hime Star made everything dangerous and confusing…for all of us. I never wanted you to be a part of that," Natsuki said as she brought her free hand to cup Shizuru's chin to lift her face.

"Because of all the dark, seedy elements that I had to resort to in order to get the truth, I needed you to be innocent of that. I had to have a place where the darkness couldn't reach me. You became that place for me, Shizuru," Natsuki said as her hand brushed Shizuru's cheek, her thumb brushing a tear from Shizuru's eye.

"I was that darkness, Natsuki, all the while wearing my mask to keep you unaware. We all hid things, well except maybe for Nao Yuuki," Shizuru replied her heart beating wildly as her stomach threatened to heave and her emotions loomed on the event horizon of the abyss.

"Even now we are hiding things, Shizuru none of us were completely innocent. The darkness stole what little good and innocence was left and made us all monsters, haters, fearful warriors not to be underestimated," Natsuki answered as she clasped Shizuru's fist that had balled itself in her kimono.

There was a tidal surge building in Natsuki, emotionally, as she felt the emotional battle warring inside of Shizuru. All Natsuki wanted to do was make it stop, but her street sense told her that it would never stop if Shizuru didn't finish it now. They all needed this retreat, even Haruka Suzushiro, who was not a Hime, just another of the Carnival's victims.

Natsuki could feel her own stomach churning as she remembered the events prior to and during the Carnival. Each Hime had lost a part of herself, not just her most important person, but her true self. Of the thirteen only Akane Higurashi left the Carnival without having participated, thanks to the involvement of Alyssa Searrs and her robotic companion, Miyu Greer.

Sadly enough it had been the catatonic state visited upon Akane that pushed Natsuki's crusade even harder. It was a fate she wished upon no one and had been, from the very beginning, trying to stop from happening to any of them. Though her methods were harsh and somewhat curtailed by other involvement, Natsuki had been vainly and naively tempting fate.

None of that mattered anymore and yet it was the reasoning behind this retreat. The entire walk up here both had lain bare their souls and their crimes needing absolution. Natsuki leaned forward and pressed her cool forehead to Shizuru's as both allowed the tears to run silently free.

Their walk back to their room was silent thanks to the shared emotional release, a release that would be just the beginning. After a quiet meal and a soothing dip in the hot spring they retired early on separate futons and prepared for tomorrows insanity.

XoXoXo

"Watch your hands," a female voice said rather loudly in the cramped and dark confines.

"Keep it down, okay, or we'll end up on a bus back to Fuuka," replied another female voice somewhat deeper because of her cautionary tone, "Besides you didn't have to come you know."

"Don't start with me, Chie Harada; you meanie. I'm stuck in this cramped trunk of a car being driven by a deaf madwoman. I'm as curious as you are, you know," Aoi Senou responded in a softer version of her dulcet tone.

Suddenly the music jumped to life again causing both young girls to jump and regret their choice of transportation even more. As Chie tried to move her hands to cover her ears she accidentally caressed one of Aoi's butt cheeks in the process. This innocent move earned Chie an elbow in her stomach and a swift heel into her shin. Aoi curled into an angry ball, praying for the speakers behind them to miraculously become quiet, or the car to stop so she could beat Chie for that slip.

Even though Chie tried to apologize Aoi knew that Chie was probably smiling in the darkness, thankful for the cover and the cramped quarters. Though she was loathing to admit it, Aoi too was happy for the closeness and even for the innocent slip of Chie's hand.

XoXoXo

"Thanks for helping us get out to the resort, Reito," Mai said cheerfully as she watched his calm demeanor.

"It is the least I can do. I should be a part of this as well, but my time will come later," Reito said as he watched the awe spread through Mikoto.

"Ani-ue, doesn't this remind you of home?" Mikoto asked her older brother thinking of their grandfather's home in the mountains.

"Unfortunately, Mikoto, I don't remember it as clearly as you do. This is beautiful though," Reito replied though he was focused more on Mai than the view of the mountain passing by.

Mai spent two days with Reito, Mikoto, and their grandfather after Takumi and Akira had left for the United States, much to the dismay of Yuuichi Tate. During this time, the three of them had made their peace with one another for their actions during the Carnival. Mai was thrown for a loss by Reito's tearful admission of being trapped inside his own body as the Obsidian Lord assumed control.

Both Reito and Mikoto had been raised as nothing more than pawns, though for Reito it would have been his death of conscious had the Carnival succeeded once again. Mikoto was the Obsidian Lord's tool within the Hime ranks but Reito was the embodiment of his darkness. In a way, Mai had feelings for both of these people, some pity, some sorrow, but most of all some love. Mai showed some of the greatest depth of love during the Carnival but it was awash with confusion and still lacked any clarity.

Mai had a strong love for her friends but in true matters of the heart there were three people awaiting her decision. It was hard to make decisions in this time as the events of the Carnival still loomed large in everyone's thoughts tainting their actions and emotions.

"Um…Reito," Mai said shyly.

"Yes," Reito answered half-heartedly.

"Will you at least come in to say Hi and rest for a moment?" Mai asked though unsure if it was truly wise to do so.

"Though we will be taking a brief respite before hitting the road, I do not think it would be a wise course of action," Reito responded as he imagined a large roasting spit upon which the former Hime would secure him.

Reito watched Mai and Mikoto very closely for the rest of the drive. Every once and a while they would clasp hands as they spoke or as Mikoto pointed out something of particular interest. It was very casual and seemed natural to the two girls, though he smiled inside Reito knew that Mai's indecision was not split amongst three but two…and did not include him, probably never would.


End file.
